Failmingo Report post Posted February 9, 2020 In less than 30 minutes, we’ll be flinging open our doors to weary travelers and olfactory thrill-seekers and would-be Valentines alike! For those of you who can’t visit in person, here’s a recap of the Lunacy-specific perfumes and more that just arrived on the site. ++ A LITTLE LUNACY RACCOON MOON Many years ago, Ted and I woke up to the sound of footsteps. It was incredibly disconcerting: the tread was heavy and even, and it sounded just like a full-grown man was walking on our roof. Ted grabbed our officially-licensed Shawn of the Dead cricket bat and I grabbed a flashlight, and we tried to figure out if someone was breaking into our house. We couldn’t find anything, so we went to check the attic. I’ll tell you… opening up your pitch black attic in the middle of a pitch black night armed with only a cricket bat and a Maglite is some serious horror movie shit. Few things test your mettle like realizing you’re absolutely /not/ the Final Girl in a slasher film because you’re creeping in an attic at midnight while investigating strange sounds. Anyway, the thuds and thumps kept happening, and eventually we figured out that raccoons were humping on our roof. Every year since, raccoons have consistently found the atmosphere on our roof conducive to romance. Now, I’ve been trying and trying to write something profound and poetic to describe this scent, but this really is a perfume about raccoons schtupping. For the bulk of the US, February is the harbinger of Raccoon Sexytime, and for the next month my whole family will get woken up by the thumps and squeals of frantically lusty raccoons using our roof as a No Tell Motel. Bring out the amorous trash panda in you: a winter’s backdrop of slush, snow-covered evergreens, juniper, and winter gardenia with sweet brown musk, rooty patchouli, spicy birch, hay absolute, osmanthus, and a pile of uprooted pansies. The accompanying Lunacy Tee (featuring illustration by Dan Santat) can be found here! ++ LUNAR NEW YEAR METAL RAT A new year’s blessing! Peony, China’s national flower, with bamboo for flexibility, plum blossom for perseverance, courage, and hope, tangerine for wealth, lychee for strong family relationships and peace in the home, orange for happiness, pine resin for constancy, golden kumquat and quince for prosperity, narcissus and King mandarin for good fortune, coconut for longevity, and candied melon for good health, with a splash of blazing red of dragon’s blood… to help you scare away the rampaging Nian. ++ MÉNAGE À TROIS Harmonious three-note perfume blends! 🥉 MAHOGANY, WOOD MOSS, AND SMOKE 🥉 LEATHER, BLACK TEA, AND CLOVE 🥉 RED PATCHOULI, NUTMEG, AND OUD 🥉 SPICED RUM, VETIVER, AND CINNAMON BARK ++ TWILIGHT ALCHEMY LAB ENCHANTMENT This is a warm, sweet, and sensual oil that radiates a soft, rose-tinted charismatic glow. It is a poem in a bottle, a tender ballad, a girdle of gentle glamour; this is an oil of epic romance, of nobility, compassion, and valor – of love that inspires story and song. Includes: rose absolute, organic rose petals, jasmine absolute, bourbon vanilla, powdered vanilla bean, lemon balm, honey absolute, benzoin resinoid, butter C02 extract, helichrysum, and strawberry natural fruit compound. Please note that this oil is not vegan. ++ SCENT LOCKETS AQUARIUS SCENT LOCKET The Zodiac lockets have returned! Exquisite, elegant, and exclusive to Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab. These are heavy lockets, thick with silver, and are perfect for use as a perfume oil conduit. Dab your favorite Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab concoction onto muslin, velvet or cotton, and place the swatch inside the locket. Your body will warm the silver, and the locket will exude pure, unadulterated scent. The Zodiac lockets are hand cast 925 sterling silver that has been partially gold washed using a method popularized in the 19th century, and each is adorned with at least one stone corresponding to the sign the locket represents. Each locket’s bale sports one of the BPAL logos: the alchemical symbol for brimstone. Portions of the face of the lockets have been deliberately tarnished. They measure approximately 1.25″ in diameter. These lockets are heavy. They are not fragile, filigreed pieces; they are durable, extremely weighty with silver, and are suitable for your most adventurous airship excursions. These lockets are exclusive to Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, and were created by and for Black Phoenix. They cannot be found anywhere else in all of Heaven and Earth. Each piece is hand cast. Our lockets come with a 24″ nickel-plated iron chain. The Zodiac lockets were designed by Alicia Dabney of Elements and Artifacts. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
