Split-Level Suburban Tract Home

[zankoku_zen]

Fresh-cut grass and chalky drywall with the indole tang of something clammy underneath.

[lorizav]

Oh dear, Ugh.  I'm not getting grass or drywall.  Kind of moldy vomit in a basement.  But I knew this one was going to be unique, and odd, and luckily I only got a decant to have "the experience"

[rhonorv]

This is somethin' else. I was so excited to try it because it sounded weird and a little scary, and I kind of secretly hoped it would smell like the suburban basements of my childhood, which were often graced with old hairballs or mildew-sodden carpets.

 

Well. WELL. I got what I hoped for, too much even. I could not bear to put this on my skin because I am weak and it was close to dinner time, but I dabbed it on a tissue. In the bottle and wet it is mildewed rug and, as lorizav mentioned, old cat puke + not a well-cleaned box in the corner of the room. There's a strong oudh that reminds me of the wham of oudh that I got from Nevertheless She Persisted but with none of the flowers.

 

When dry the indolic-ness calms down a just the tiniest bit, and I do get some of the chalkiness, but I don't smell any grass. I would be super curious to hear what anyone who likes oudh makes of this. I am amazed and horrified.

 

Edited January 27, 2021 by rhonorv

[SophieCedar]

Ewwwmygod. Evil burbles like the amityville well in this basement, livingroom, kitchen, the toilet...especially the toilet. I couldn't put this on my skin. The indole is outta control... Beth has outdone herself on this one. Its an opus of emotive evil.

[torischroeder9]

In the bottle: Like cat vomit on stinky sweat socks. There is something putrid and sour like bile and upchuck along with something sharper, like heavily concentrated body odor. 

 

On my skin:

 

Because of course I am putting it on my skin. Wet, the indole immediately starts to sort itself out. It doesn't lessen, exactly, but it becomes much more straightforward like oudh. Up close to the skin, I do get some freshly cut grass note. The drying down continues to lessen the intensity here. Still indolic, but the grass note does start to become more detectable. 

 

Just over half an hour in, and it's... surprisingly not bad? The grass note has become slightly more prominent than the oudh, though the indole is still very much present. A hint of something chalky or powdery -- I could speculate an amber or frankincense or black musk, but that's just speculation -- starts to emerge. 

 

A half hour after that, and it's mostly powder that I'd be most inclined to believe is black musk (as it's not sweet enough on me to be frankincense or amber - though that could be the other notes' influence as well). The oudh is still present but very faintly in the background, and there's no sign of green grass at all.

 

This is certainly a fun experience -- and if you can deal with the oudh, it turns out okay in the end! 

 

[sunshinedaisybliss]

All these years, I thought @SophieCedar was my friend. But why would a friend send me this? Surely you would only ever share this with someone you don’t like.. someone you hate, even 🤨

 

And yet, here we are. Unfortunately, I did not read reviews before swiping a big slurp of this on my arm. I calmly put the lid back on the decant, then leaned in for a big sniff... and OH MY GOD I WANTED TO RIP MY NOSE OFF. 

 

This smells like a pile of soiled underwear that’s been out in the backyard on damp grass for a few months, vomited on several times by random passers by on their way home from the local $5 All-U-Can-Eat restaurant, and used by the neighbourhood stray cats as both a boudoir for midnight orgies and a bathroom for communal peeing. There’s also a blast of unwashed armpit and a waft of clammy balls, which together just take this to the next level. 
 

Beth, you are undoubtedly a genius but please never make this again. The worst part is, I can’t think of anyone I dislike enough to pass this on to 😁

 

PS sophiecedar, it’s ok I still loves you. 
 

Edited April 15, 2021 by sunshinedaisybliss
due to stench-induced typos.

[fairybites]

I can't even begin to review this monstrosity (I mean this in a nice way, I'm kind of amazed how terrible this is). So when I get a new bottle in the mail, I sniff it before testing a few days or so after settling. I decided to not do it with this. I knew it was gonna be gross, I read the previous reviews, but I wanted to be extra shocked.

 

Spoiler for a gross part of the review (CW: vomit)

Spoiler

This is the first scent to actually make me vomit. I thought I was going to with Unsettling Clear Plastic Mask, but nope this was the one to finally make me do it. Good thing I decided to test this when I got home from getting the vaccine, I might not have been the only to get sick from this.  

 

It's all crappy diaper smothered in a shit ton of chalky baby powder to try and mask the smell but actually makes it worse. No grass notes, just the nastiest oudh in the world. It stays stinky for hours, eventually it fades to chalk but it was a good 4 or so hours in. Hell, I almost washed this off. If this was the first oudh scent I tried, I would never touch that note again. It's taken a few duds (like Vampire Lace), but I have found some lovely oudh perfumes that don't smell this terrible.

 

I haaaate this so much, but I love it? I adore testing all these weird scents and while I am definitely not going to be wearing this again (unless I want to gross out people on purpose), this is the greatest disgusting perfume I have ever tried. Not sure if it can be topped, to be quite honest. 

[zankoku_zen]

This is just as horrible as all the other reviews have made it sound. Truly, crappy diaper, pukey baby powder. No grass, only oudh. 

This is what horror and despair smell like. It's like Vampire Lace grew up, bought a house, and then DIED INGLORIOUSLY. 

Great throw and wear length.

Imma go wash this off.