Judgmental Longhorn

[zankoku_zen]

He knows what you’ve been up to. Sweet tonka, smoked vanilla, benzoin, labdanum, amber, hay absolute, cacao absolute, and soft brown musk.

[Frills]

Oh. Oh. I love this. It's bright, it's fresh, it's semi-masculine, and it has a cow on it! It's a really sexy cologne, like what you might wear when you're baling hay and still want to smell amazing. I can't even pick out specific notes (besides the hay absolute which is divine), it's so well blended. My new favorite.

[VetchVesper]

Very nice!  I get mostly hay, smoked vanilla and soft amber, along with a supple leather sort of vibe.  The vanilla leans more perfumey than foody, and I don't really smell cocao, especially when compared to Muddy Armadillo. I agree with Frills; this would be very nice on a man, but it works for a woman too, and something gives the vibe of lux cologne.  Cuddly, but still sophisticated. This is grade A beef and it knows it. ❤️

[doomsday_disco]

Judgmental Longhorn is a nice melange of hay, smoked vanilla (the same one from the Cedarwood and Smoked Vanilla duet, I believe, which isn't is more dry than smoky to my nose), tonka, and warm musk, with the powdery benzoin and resinous labdanum coming into play after the scent has been on the skin for a while. The labdanum in this is not sweet and cola-like like it is in a lot of other scents, and it hasn't taken over like the type of labdanum I just described, which is a pleasant surprise. The brown musk in particular really asserts itself after a day of wear, so fans of cuddly brown musk scents will appreciate this one, because it is accompanied by all sorts of cozy, warm notes! Oddly enough, the cacao in this didn't really manifest on me, but maybe that's because his armadillo buddy hogged it all.

[puellacaerulea]

In the decant, I get cacao, tonka, amber, and brown musk. Once it's on, the vanilla and benzoin start amping up along with the musk -- I end up with a warm amber/vanilla/musk combo with a sort of creamy sweetness to it. It's like Year of the Ox without the wood and tobacco notes. The musk takes it into semi-masculine territory and gives it a slight expensive-cologne vibe, but I do think anyone could wear this.

[feyofthefellwood]

My skin seems to eat this, so I wish it was a bit stronger on me. Lovely smoky vanilla, tonka, and hay notes, although I can't pick out the other notes very well. Maybe this will strengthen with age. It's almost earthy, but also sophisticated. 

[lilyluxe]

I contemplated getting this for a really long time- waffling back and forth on it because I wasn't sure if I was just buying it because I am obsessed with cows.

Well, I did it anyway, and absolutely love it. Skyrocketed up to my top faves of all time. 

 

This scent is really well blended to the point that I can't pick out individual notes in it really. I would say that it definitely leans masculine without going into cologne or shower gel territory- it is a really earthy, warm scent that warms up as it dries down. Definitely feels a bit sharp/green in the bottle but that fades away really quickly into a very brown scent. I personally love earthy gender-neutral scents so this definitely hit the spot.

 

I would say that it is not really sweet at all, nor do I detect any cocoa, though I suspect it is what binds the earthiness together. If you like nonsweet warm scents, this is a keeper. Super cozy without feeling too heavy in hot weather.  It also layers really nicely a sweet pipe tobacco note or a warm toned vanilla single note. I do that sometimes to sweeten it up!

[tinyvulture]

I’m getting a spicy leather, although the notes tell me otherwise. As much as I love this scent because I'm an Austinite and we have a lot of judgmental Longhorns around here, the spiciness is so intense, it makes me sneeze and gives me a headache -- I think it’s the hay absolute. I am just always having problems with hay. Smoky vanilla and amber are in the background. I wish I could love this, but thanks to the hay it’s off to swaps!

[Estamets]

Vanilla cowfriend, you are breaking my heart!

 

I love this smell so much: it's brown, musky VANILLA GORGEOUSNESS with no sweetness, just pure earthy beauty... but I can only smell it when I stick my nose into my cleavage! I utterly slathered my neck and between my boobs with this 3 times, and I have only gotten about two whiffs all day - and it's 100 degrees today so it should be pouring off of me in lovely vanilla cowfriend waves. 

 

This is a truly beautiful blend and I wish happiness and good vanilla cow fortune on anyone with skin that doesn't drink this right up. 

[Lucchesa]

Judgmental the longhorn may be, but he’s awfully quiet about it. This is a lovely unisex blend with that cuddly brown musk vibe and lightweight resins (I’m getting little to no cacao), but it’s quite muted on me. This would be an excellent comfort scent if it were a bit stronger on my skin. 

[maleficentsea]

At first, this is a strong hay cologne on me. I will say, the longer is stays on my skin the more the vanilla comes out, sweetening it just a tad. It is a really nice blend, just not quite for me. I think anyone who adores masculine-leaning colognes and dusty atmospherics will love this one!

 

EDIT: This was my review from the first decant I received, which I'm now thoroughly convinced was mislabled: I wanted to love this! I'm not getting a single of the notes listed...maybe I got a mislabeled decant? Why am I getting watermelon Jolly rancher with this one?

Edited March 17, 2022 by maleficentsea

[Frills]

Every time I wear this to the gym, someone near me asks "what smells so good". It's the cow cologne, friends. It smells so dang good. It's so well blended that I can't pick out any one note over the others--maybe a little hay at first, but after that it's just light and semi-masculine and clean and sunny. And it smells great even when you've been sweating.

[Tamarinda]

I snagged a bottle hoping it would be cologney like everyone mentioned, since I was potentially getting this for my nephew. It was! Not sure what combo of notes gives it that fancy guy cologne vibe, the hay + tonka maybe? But the cacao absolute, while subtle, really makes it unique. I made him put it on and it worked really well with his skin chemsitry. I didn't notice anything that registered as musk and all the other notes just sort of blend into the "cologne" aura. The vanilla adds just a dash of dry sweetness. I've no idea what labdanum smells like but I didn't notice anything unrecognizable. Anywho, if you're looking for an oil that falls under the "masculine" category, this one fits the bill!